Thank You OnePocket.org

[lfigueroa]

So there I is, minding my own beeswax at the local room, wrapping up a three hour practice session. It’s still early afternoon and no one else is in the pool room -- all the tables are empty. When in through the front door comes a road player of some sort, accompanied by a blonde woman.

You can tell he’s a road guy because he shows all the tell tale signs: new face, pool cue case, luggage of valuables not to be left in the car, and a dead cell phone he’s looking to plug in somewhere.

Like I said, I was wrapping it up and the guy notices that I’ve unscrewed my pool cue, and I’m thinking to meself, “Self, if this guy is actually on the road, he’s going to ask you to play.” And, right on cue he says, “Hey, are you Lou Figueroa? (Actually, it was a garbled approximation of my last name, but close enough.) And I reply, “Yes, sir -- that’s me.” And he says, “Yeah, I recognized you from OnePocket.org. (?!) Do you want to hit some one pocket?” And I reply, “No. I’ve been here since they opened. I’m done.” Right off, I can tell this does not sit well with him.

I have my own set of balls that I practice with, so I start giving them a little cleaning with some polish and a cloth before putting them away and the next thing I know, the guy, Will -- a meaty kid with dark, short-cropped hair -- has gotten a set of balls and is hitting bank shots at the far end of the table I’m on. No biggie. He’s hitting ball after ball and finally, one he’s missed ends up running down table my way. And I very politely say, “You know, Im almost done here, then you can have the table.”

And then... without further notice or fanfare... the guy’s head explodes.

“What’s your problem? Am I really bothering you shooting balls down here?”

“Well no, but just as a bit of courtesy, you might want to wait till I’m done here.”

“Well, if it bothers you so much, why don’t go polish your balls on another table?”

OK, so now, the blonde woman he’s with is whispering to him, “Stop it. Let it go.” But of course he can’t stop himself and he’s pretty much on a rant by now and he’s saying some rather rude things. And then, *I* can’t help myself and decide, "OK, I'll give him something to really be pissed about" and I call over to the house man and say “Hey, you know what? Don't take me off. I think I’m going to stay on a bit longer and hit a few more balls.”



*Now* "Will" is really steaming, but he knows he’s gotta take his set of balls off “my” table and go to another one. Needless to say, he’s practically beside himself and continues to rant. The house man is telling him to “let it go” But he just can’t stop himself. The blonde, who has probably seen this act a few times before, has gone out of the pool room to go sit in their car. I dink a couple more balls around and then the other guy, who can’t see straight at this point, takes his stick apart and leaves, calling me several ripe names on the way out the door.

So, thank you OnePocket.org. You brightened up an otherwise boring day for me at the pool hall

Lou Figueroa

 

[lll]

its your picture that gave you away:heh:lol

 

[jtompilot]

Hi Lou, you going to Chicago for some 14.1

 

[lfigueroa]

its your picture that gave you away:heh:lol

lol, well, truth be told, he just had the look of someone who had driven quite a while, didn't get no action where he'd been steered to, and now was probably looking at a lot more driving. I don't know if the tantrum was to get me hot so I'd play, or just pure frustration.

Lou Figueroa

 

[lfigueroa]

Hi Lou, you going to Chicago for some 14.1

Hey, Jim, didn't know anything was going on in Chicago. Whatsup?

Lou Figueroa
will be in Phoenix
for a couple of days soon

 

[jtompilot]

Hey, Jim, didn't know anything was going on in Chicago. Whatsup?

Lou Figueroa
will be in Phoenix
for a couple of days soon

There is a 14.1 tourny this Saturday. If i could make 4 balls in a row i would go.

If i can make red shoes next 1p tourny i'll let u know. maybe we can play some.

 

[CaliRed]

Will -- a meaty kid with dark, short-cropped hair

Lou Figueroa

Do we know what Will's screen name is here?

 

[RedCard]

Do we know what Will's screen name is here?

Will Nil.
Will Pill.
Fishy Will the Gill.
Will the Shill.
Silly Willy.
Will Downhill.
Willy Wonka Play Some Tonka?

Let's have a name the Wilbert contest to smoke him out.

 

[lfigueroa]

There is a 14.1 tourny this Saturday. If i could make 4 balls in a row i would go.

If i can make red shoes next 1p tourny i'll let u know. maybe we can play some.

Are you kidding me?! Four balls was my high run last 14.1 event at Red Shoes.

Lou Figueroa

 

[lfigueroa]

Do we know what Will's screen name is here?

No clue and frankly, I think the OnePocket.org thing may have been a cover story. Or, he could pop up and tell his side of the story. I'm sure it will be entertaining

Lou Figueroa

 

[lfigueroa]

Will Nil.
Will Pill.
Fishy Will the Gill.
Will the Shill.
Silly Willy.
Will Downhill.
Willy Wonka Play Some Tonka?

Let's have a name the Wilbert contest to smoke him out.

lol. Careful there. Doesn't take much to set the lad off.

Lou Figueroa

 

[bernie p]

Hey, Jim, didn't know anything was going on in Chicago. Whatsup?

Lou Figueroa
will be in Phoenix
for a couple of days soon

Hi Lou,

Don't know when you're in town, but if you want to bang 'em round cheap, let me know.

Cheers. Bernie.

 

[lfigueroa]

Hi Lou,

Don't know when you're in town, but if you want to bang 'em round cheap, let me know.

Cheers. Bernie.

Bernie, I'll have a couple of days where I'll be looking to bang them around midday and kill some time for a couple of hours. I'll let you know in a couple of weeks when things firm up.

Lou Figueroa

 

[Sam Waltz]

Kudos sir!

Kudos sir!

Congrats sir, I think you handled yourself in a fine fashion! There's just TOO much grumpiness out there in the world today and those types are always tryin' to suck up everyone else's happiness whenever they get a chance.

I feel lucky that the only experiences I've had playing people that knew me from the forums have been really awesome. Too bad you had to get the "bad seed" rollin' into your room Lou! :lol

 

[lfigueroa]

Congrats sir, I think you handled yourself in a fine fashion! There's just TOO much grumpiness out there in the world today and those types are always tryin' to suck up everyone else's happiness whenever they get a chance.

I feel lucky that the only experiences I've had playing people that knew me from the forums have been really awesome. Too bad you had to get the "bad seed" rollin' into your room Lou! :lol

Thanks, Sam.

You know, in all the time I've been on the internet I've met dozens of guys from all the groups. Not once have I had an issue. I say not once because i don't really believe this guy was anyone we'd call "one of us." More a 9baller.

In fact, I think I've only had someone go off on me for no good reason like this guy did, maybe one other time. I was down in Florida around the Plantation area about two years ago. ah, I can remember it like it was yesterday...

(insert flashback music)

Hollywood Billiards is a great old-time, crusty around the edges kinda place. A lot of regulars, friendly atmosphere. Some of the tables were not to my liking. I played on one of the money tables (14?) and the rails are super lively and tend to bank uphill. I certainly wouldn't want to be from out-of-town and have to adjust to that table for big money

Before I went I got a PM and an email telling me who the two best players there were, along with general descriptions and sure enough, the first day I was there the #2 guy comes up to me and asks if I want to play 1pocket. So I look at my watch and tell him I only have and hour left before I have to leave. I know he's the #2 guy, so I figure I'll just donate a couple of bucks to him and say I'll knock them around for $10 a game for an hour.

We play and I can tell he's pretty good, but he gets a lot of good rolls too. Lou loses $30.

The next day I stop by to play and the same thing happens. The #2 guy comes in and wants to play and I look at my watch and I tell him I only have like 45 minutes but will knock them around for $10 till I have to go. We play and Lou not only wins the first couple of games, but also gets a few good rolls.

And then it starts.

#2 Guy (disgusted): "Geez. How they rolling."

Lou says nothing.

(a few shots later, Lou gets another roll)

#2 Guy (really disgusted): "Man this is unbelievable!"

Lou (amused): "It's pool. It happens."

#2 Guy: "But over and over?!"

Lou: "I didn't say anything yesterday when you were getting all the rolls."

#2 Guy: "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

Lou: "What? Playing for $10 a game. Sure it's just fun."

#2 Guy: "You know what you are? You're a mother f*cking pr*ck. I'd rather dig a ditch than play for $10 a game."

Lou: "Well, why don't you go unscrew and go dig yourself a ditch?"

And so, the merry repartee went for a while longer. I lost that game and my hour was up, so I unscrewed. On the way out the door, one guy stopped me and said, "Don't judge us all by him." Another stopped me and, literally, shook my hand and said, "Forget about him. He's lower than a low life." And a third, at the counter, said, "He's pretty retarded, isn't he."

The next day he came in and offered a half-hearted apology -- while standing 20 feet away -- going on about problems with his boy and what not. I told him I accepted his apology, in about the same vein.

Sooooo, it was all fun

Lou Figueroa

 

[SJDinPHX]

Thanks, Sam.

You know, in all the time I've been on the internet I've met dozens of guys from all the groups. Not once have I had an issue. I say not once because i don't really believe this guy was anyone we'd call "one of us." More a 9baller.

In fact, I think I've only had someone go off on me for no good reason like this guy did, maybe one other time. I was down in Florida around the Plantation area about two years ago. ah, I can remember it like it was yesterday...

(insert flashback music)

Hollywood Billiards is a great old-time, crusty around the edges kinda place. A lot of regulars, friendly atmosphere. Some of the tables were not to my liking. I played on one of the money tables (14?) and the rails are super lively and tend to bank uphill. I certainly wouldn't want to be from out-of-town and have to adjust to that table for big money

Before I went I got a PM and an email telling me who the two best players there were, along with general descriptions and sure enough, the first day I was there the #2 guy comes up to me and asks if I want to play 1pocket. So I look at my watch and tell him I only have and hour left before I have to leave. I know he's the #2 guy, so I figure I'll just donate a couple of bucks to him and say I'll knock them around for $10 a game for an hour.

We play and I can tell he's pretty good, but he gets a lot of good rolls too. Lou loses $30.

The next day I stop by to play and the same thing happens. The #2 guy comes in and wants to play and I look at my watch and I tell him I only have like 45 minutes but will knock them around for $10 till I have to go. We play and Lou not only wins the first couple of games, but also gets a few good rolls.

And then it starts.

#2 Guy (disgusted): "Geez. How they rolling."

Lou says nothing.

(a few shots later, Lou gets another roll)

#2 Guy (really disgusted): "Man this is unbelievable!"

Lou (amused): "It's pool. It happens."

#2 Guy: "But over and over?!"

Lou: "I didn't say anything yesterday when you were getting all the rolls."

#2 Guy: "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

Lou: "What? Playing for $10 a game. Sure it's just fun."

#2 Guy: "You know what you are? You're a mother f*cking pr*ck. I'd rather dig a ditch than play for $10 a game."

Lou: "Well, why don't you go unscrew and go dig yourself a ditch?"

And so, the merry repartee went for a while longer. I lost that game and my hour was up, so I unscrewed. On the way out the door, one guy stopped me and said, "Don't judge us all by him." Another stopped me and, literally, shook my hand and said, "Forget about him. He's lower than a low life." And a third, at the counter, said, "He's pretty retarded, isn't he."

The next day he came in and offered a half-hearted apology -- while standing 20 feet away -- going on about problems with his boy and what not. I told him I accepted his apology, in about the same vein.

Sooooo, it was all fun

Lou Figueroa

Lou,

You have such a way with words...If I may, I'd like to borrow your #1, #2, routine, to tell a really funny old road story...I will wait until I am half in the bag, (which shouldn't take too long.) as I seem to do my best writing then...(insert flashback music)...hilarious !

I may use such verbage as, Redneck #1, #2 etc, as well as A-hole #1, or real p---k #2, and so on, as this particular story has a lot of colorful characters in it...stay tuned...

 

[lfigueroa]

Lou,

You have such a way with words...If I may, I'd like to borrow your #1, #2, routine, to tell a really funny old road story...I will wait until I am half in the bag, (which shouldn't take too long.) as I seem to do my best writing then...(insert flashback music)...hilarious !

I may use such verbage as, Redneck #1, #2 etc, as well as A-hole #1, or real p---k #2, and so on, as this particular story has a lot of colorful characters in it...stay tuned...

Thank you, Dick, and of course free free to borrow. I myself borrowed the "(insert flashback music)" from the late-great Smorgasbored. Doug didn't get out on the road himself much, but when he did he came back with a whopper to tell.

This from March 28, 2002 on RSB

#####

(*<~ It was on my way home from New Orleans two weeks ago ......

(insert flashback music here)

I stopped at my brother's workplace and was talked into spending two
days at Spring Break assisting the young girls in their wet T-shirt
competitions and bikini contests. Man, I've still got it and so do they.

Anyway, it seems that brother lives ON THE BEACH (about 100' to the
surf) of the Gulf of Mexico in a beautiful 3 bedroom home will ALL the
amenities (I'd like to swap places with him- including significant
other). He lives just east of Panama City in a little beach community
called St. Joe Beach. There is a place there (within crawling distance
of the house) called "Regan's Pub & Oyster Bar" Est. Nov.14th 2000
157,920 Oyster's Shucked (when the t-shirt was printed).

After a hard day of rubbing up against nubile young things in Panama
City we ended up at Regan's depleting their oyster stock and keeping the
'shucker' employed.

The bar area had a 4x8 pooltable and the proximity to the beach and the
breeze had it in the lower 50°. I had on my Planet 9-Ball jacket with
the BIG logo of a planet that looks like a 9-ball (duh). All the locals
wanted to challenge my brother and I to some partners 8-ball and we
obliged. We won every game for hours, no matter what rules they made up
along the way. We stopped to take a break and eat MORE oysters and one
of the players asked me what I 'did' in Tampa. I told him that I was a
professional pool player (my brother almost blew an oyster out of his
nose). This fellow named Jim-Bob wanted to play me heads up. I told him
that I'd play, but I wouldn't play cheap. He told me that he didn't care
WHAT we played for as he racked the balls and I prepared to break.

I'd told him that I was called Tampa Tubby and as I smashed the balls
I exclaimed that I was playing him for his 'Bob'. At first, he thought
that I was kidding, but as it dawned on him that I was serious he became
VERY nervous. All activity stopped in the building as EVERYONE came to
sweat this game. The most serious game to ever take place in St. Joe
Beach,Fl. I got down to the eightball and Jim-Bob said that I had to
'bank it' AND we were also playing last pocket 8-ball. I'd made my last
ball in the side pocket and was in trouble with the way his balls were
laying on the table. When I asked if I could play the eight off of one
of his balls and he said yes, I kicked the eight from near the end rail
and off his ball into 'my' side pocket. GAME OVER. I'd won 'the Bob'.

Everyone laughed and cheered while now calling me "Tampa Tubby-Bob".
At the same time,everyone now called Jim-Bob simply JIM. Jim was
devasted. It was sinking in that he had lost his 'Bob' and he didn't
like it one little bit. People were now calling him 'Bobless' and his
boss (who was present) threatened to fire him and make him 'Jobless
Bobless'. He's been 'Bobbited'. He wanted a re-match. I said NO. I told
him that I would return in exactly one year and play him ONE GAME and an
opportunity to win his 'Bob' back.

I've spoken to my brother a few times since I've left St. Joe Beach
and he assures me NOONE has called him Jim-Bob since he lost and that
the word has spread up & down the beach.

They're planning a big 'special day' for next year and my return. I'm
thinking about breaking out my sling,walker, eye-patch, etc. to make it
REALLY exciting.

I know that I dance to beat of a different drum (at least I didn't
insist that he throw in a moon pie), but everyone seems to like it (so
far). I didn't get a BOP on the nose. Life is good. Does it get any
better than this ?

Tampa Tubby-Bob
#####

Lou Figueroa

 

[SJDinPHX]

Thank you, Dick, and of course free free to borrow. I myself borrowed the "(insert flashback music)" from the late-great Smorgasbored. Doug didn't get out on the road himself much, but when he did he came back with a whopper to tell.

Lou Figueroa

Smorgy was definately 'one of a kind', wasn't he...Loved the man, and really miss him... as we all do..

 

[One Pocket Ghost]

In fact, I think I've only had someone go off on me for no good reason like this guy did, maybe one other time. I was down in Florida around the Plantation area about two years ago. ah, I can remember it like it was yesterday...

(insert flashback music)

Hollywood Billiards is a great old-time, crusty around the edges kinda place. A lot of regulars, friendly atmosphere. Some of the tables were not to my liking. I played on one of the money tables (14?) and the rails are super lively and tend to bank uphill. I certainly wouldn't want to be from out-of-town and have to adjust to that table for big money

Before I went I got a PM and an email telling me who the two best players there were, along with general descriptions and sure enough, the first day I was there the #2 guy comes up to me and asks if I want to play 1pocket. So I look at my watch and tell him I only have and hour left before I have to leave. I know he's the #2 guy, so I figure I'll just donate a couple of bucks to him and say I'll knock them around for $10 a game for an hour.

We play and I can tell he's pretty good, but he gets a lot of good rolls too. Lou loses $30.

The next day I stop by to play and the same thing happens. The #2 guy comes in and wants to play and I look at my watch and I tell him I only have like 45 minutes but will knock them around for $10 till I have to go. We play and Lou not only wins the first couple of games, but also gets a few good rolls.

And then it starts.

#2 Guy (disgusted): "Geez. How they rolling."

Lou says nothing.

(a few shots later, Lou gets another roll)

#2 Guy (really disgusted): "Man this is unbelievable!"

Lou (amused): "It's pool. It happens."

#2 Guy: "But over and over?!"

Lou: "I didn't say anything yesterday when you were getting all the rolls."

#2 Guy: "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

Lou: "What? Playing for $10 a game. Sure it's just fun."

#2 Guy: "You know what you are? You're a mother f*cking pr*ck. I'd rather dig a ditch than play for $10 a game."

Lou: "Well, why don't you go unscrew and go dig yourself a ditch?"

And so, the merry repartee went for a while longer. I lost that game and my hour was up, so I unscrewed. On the way out the door, one guy stopped me and said, "Don't judge us all by him." Another stopped me and, literally, shook my hand and said, "Forget about him. He's lower than a low life." And a third, at the counter, said, "He's pretty retarded, isn't he."

The next day he came in and offered a half-hearted apology -- while standing 20 feet away -- going on about problems with his boy and what not. I told him I accepted his apology, in about the same vein.

Sooooo, it was all fun

Lou Figueroa

Hey Lou......Remember we talked about this awhile back, and we discovered that coincidentally when I was in Florida for the winter about 9 years ago I went to Hollywood Billiards a few times and played that same guy - and he came with some shitty/tush hog attitude with me too - because he thought he was going to have fairly easy action playing me - but it didn't turn out that way, and he wasn't too happy about it...

- Ghost

PS, Then about 5 years ago he came to the DCC, and one of the first nights he got into action with Nick Vita (he didn't know him) thinking he was a young kid and would be easy action playing One Pocket...well it didn't take long for him to realize that he didn't much like his game with young Nick after all I sweated for awhile, enjoying watching him take the heat...

 

[chicken ranch]

So there I is, minding my own beeswax at the local room, wrapping up a three hour practice session. It’s still early afternoon and no one else is in the pool room -- all the tables are empty. When in through the front door comes a road player of some sort, accompanied by a blonde woman.

You can tell he’s a road guy because he shows all the tell tale signs: new face, pool cue case, luggage of valuables not to be left in the car, and a dead cell phone he’s looking to plug in somewhere.

Like I said, I was wrapping it up and the guy notices that I’ve unscrewed my pool cue, and I’m thinking to meself, “Self, if this guy is actually on the road, he’s going to ask you to play.” And, right on cue he says, “Hey, are you Lou Figueroa? (Actually, it was a garbled approximation of my last name, but close enough.) And I reply, “Yes, sir -- that’s me.” And he says, “Yeah, I recognized you from OnePocket.org. (?!) Do you want to hit some one pocket?” And I reply, “No. I’ve been here since they opened. I’m done.” Right off, I can tell this does not sit well with him.

I have my own set of balls that I practice with, so I start giving them a little cleaning with some polish and a cloth before putting them away and the next thing I know, the guy, Will -- a meaty kid with dark, short-cropped hair -- has gotten a set of balls and is hitting bank shots at the far end of the table I’m on. No biggie. He’s hitting ball after ball and finally, one he’s missed ends up running down table my way. And I very politely say, “You know, Im almost done here, then you can have the table.”

And then... without further notice or fanfare... the guy’s head explodes.

“What’s your problem? Am I really bothering you shooting balls down here?”

“Well no, but just as a bit of courtesy, you might want to wait till I’m done here.”

“Well, if it bothers you so much, why don’t go polish your balls on another table?”

OK, so now, the blonde woman he’s with is whispering to him, “Stop it. Let it go.” But of course he can’t stop himself and he’s pretty much on a rant by now and he’s saying some rather rude things. And then, *I* can’t help myself and decide, "OK, I'll give him something to really be pissed about" and I call over to the house man and say “Hey, you know what? Don't take me off. I think I’m going to stay on a bit longer and hit a few more balls.”



*Now* "Will" is really steaming, but he knows he’s gotta take his set of balls off “my” table and go to another one. Needless to say, he’s practically beside himself and continues to rant. The house man is telling him to “let it go” But he just can’t stop himself. The blonde, who has probably seen this act a few times before, has gone out of the pool room to go sit in their car. I dink a couple more balls around and then the other guy, who can’t see straight at this point, takes his stick apart and leaves, calling me several ripe names on the way out the door.

So, thank you OnePocket.org. You brightened up an otherwise boring day for me at the pool hall

Lou Figueroa

My name is will freeman, like I told you when I introduced myself to you, and that is not the exact facts of our encounter if anyone really cares, and yes I did blow up because never ever have I met a more arrogant s.o.b, in my life. I have read many posts over the years by this guy and have seen a match or 2 of his, So hears the story my fiance and I go to "the break" in cahokia il.where i am meeting 2 friends to carpool to a tournament in peoria il. ( my girl is dropping me off)I walk in the door of the place with my suitcase and pool case and walk to the jukebox to plug in my phone and look over and see lou(or who I thought was lou)slow rolling a long rail bank shot over and over(he did not take his pool stick apart lol),and say to him; hello sir, your name wouldnt happen to be lou f. would it?lou responds with; yes it is. I say,its nice to meet you my name is will freeman,and I recognised you from one pocket.org, I have read many of your posts over the years and you seem very knowledgable about the game.(trying to be super nice and potentially get to know someone new in the area to play one pocket with. anyone that knows me will vouch for me as one of the nicest people you will EVER meet in a pool room),he just stares at me, I ask him would you like to play a game of one pocket? and in an arrogant tone which at the time didnt bother me at all he says;Ive been here since they opened im done(so say that didnt sit well with me is hilarious.... i told him I didnt want to play him for money omg)(to be continued)