"Jerry" Stories.


Verified Member
Aug 15, 2013
monett missouri
My friend Jerry is a character. He has a talent for coming up with the kind of lines that I think of hours later: "I should have said...."

I've got three for ya; one he said to me, and the other two he claims he said at the "right" time.

He was tired of his job and was looking around for something different. A mutual friend of ours suggested that he talk to a friend his that we didn't know. The guy had a company that manufactured and sold redwood "sunrooms."

So Jerry went to see the guy and they got into a pretty long conversation covering a lot of details about the job and about Jerry's background. At some point the guy said, "Let's do it. When do you want to start?"

Jerry said, "It sure sounds interesting and I'd like to do it, but we haven't talked at all about pay."

The guys says, "I'll pay you whatever you're worth."

Jerry says, "Hell no, I can't live on that."

Jerry was wanting to buy a new car, so he went to a bank that was advertising car loans. At this point in his life he didn't have a very solid work or credit history, so the rep at the bank said to him, "I appreciate your coming in Mr. _____, but I think your case is a little borderline for us. I think you'd do better at a bank that knows you."

"Bullshit," Jerry claims he said.

Jerry and I and my brother-in-law were playing golf in Omaha. The three of us were pretty evenly matched so we had several bets of various kinds. We got around to about the 13th or 14th hole and Jerry needed to make a 7 or 8 ft. putt.. After giving the putt a good lookin' over he stepped up to it, and as he looked back and forth from the ball to the hole two or three times zeroing in, he noticed a bird in the grass near the green chirping away loudly and continually. He stepped away from the putt and looked in the bird's direction. "John," he said, "is that your f***in' meadowlark?"