The Genesis Of "Double-Smart Fats"

[Cowboy Dennis]

This is part of a story told by Fats in "The Bank Shot And Other Great Robberies". I will post several parts here from the book, concluding with the part where he's nicknamed "Double Smart".

Here's the first part:

When I left Oklahoma City, Jack Hill told me I played One-Pocket better than anybody alive except him and his protege, a fellow by the name of Hubert Cokes, who I met later on in New York. So I started back east, stopping off in every poolroom to improve my One-Pocket game. I figured this was the proposition to crack out Smart Henny.

So now I'm back in New York, only I find out Hubert Cokes has already been there and has introduced One-Pocket to everybody on Broadway, although none of the top players took it seriously at first. Then, one day, who walks in Kreuter's but a pool hustler called Jalopy, who was from Brooklyn, and he said he had played a little One-Pocket himself and was taking on all comers. Jalopy and I played even at first, but I hashed him real good so he wouldn't play me anymore unless I spotted him a ball, then a ball & the break, and then two balls. I kept stepping up the odds until I whacked out Jalopy so clean that he said there was no way on Earth he would ever go to the table with me again. He was very sincere about his intentions, because he did a fade-out and nobody saw Jalopy around for like three months.

Then one day he comes waking in with a tremendous bankroll and I started giving him the conversation about propositions, but he said he would rather go to the gas chamber than play me. So I kept giving him the this-and-that and finally Jalopy said, "Look Fatty, I wouldn't play you even if you said my scratches don't count." So I said, "What do you mean by that Jalopy?" and Jalopy said, "I mean, if I scratched, I wouldn't have to pay a ball." So right there I invented a brand-new proposition.

To be continued...

 

[Cowboy Dennis]

...By "scratches don't count," Jalopy not only meant he didn't have to pay a ball but he could roll the cueball to any part of the table without hitting another ball or a rail. It was tremendous odds to give a man, but I knew a player Jalopy's speed didn't belong on the same table with me. So I went to a room in Washington Heights and played myself scratches don't count for like six hours. I could see it was such a tremendous proposition that Jalopy couldn't turn it down, but the way I banked, I knew I had a mortal lock. So the next day I conversed with Jalopy again and this time I got him on the table. Now, this is on the square. I beat Jalopy worse then when I was spotting him like a ball or two or three balls. I mean, I really cracked him out. After that he wouldn't even give me the time of day much less engage me in a cash proposition.

Word about the scratches-no-count proposition traveled all over Broadway, and somebody put a tongue in Smart Henny's ear and Smart Henny said it was the biggest sucker offer he ever heard. So Smart Henny shows up around Kreuter's and wants to know if I'm on the level. Then he says will I give those kind of odds to Coney Island Al and I said that would be just fine.


To be continued...

 

[Cowboy Dennis]

...Coney Island Al was an old-timer who was hard-of-hearing in one ear, although if he really wanted to hear what was being said, Coney Island Al wouldn't be hard-of-hearing at all...now Smart Henny comes around Kreuter's with Coney Island Al, who was the funniest-looking little fellow you ever saw...Everybody got down on Coney Island Al real good because it looked like the odds I was giving were so fantastic that Coney Island Al couldn't lose. Nobody dreamed I was going to bank those balls from every angle known to man.

I'll tell you what it was like. It was like the day the banks tapped out. You never saw so many sad-faced creatures in a hundred years. I ruined Coney Island Al, and real quick everybody got off Coney Island, everybody except Smart Henny. Smart Henny kept betting higher and higher because he figured with the scratches-don't-count proposition there was no way I could win it. He thought that sooner or later I would make a slip and then Coney Island Al would whack me out and Smart Henny would end up with all the cash. But I kept winning and winning, until I thought I would have to call an armored car to get out of the joint. It was unbelievable.

To be continued...

 

[Island Drive]

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[Cowboy Dennis]

...Finally, Smart Henny said he had enough. "Fat Boy," he said, "I've been betting propositions around pool halls all my life, but you cured me." Smart Henny never came around much after that.

All the eyeballers were real impressed and they started saying that if Smart Henny was the smartest fellow on Broadway, where did that leave the Fat Boy. "I'll tell you where it leaves him," one of the eyeballers said. "It means that Fatty is twice as smart as Smart Henny."

"That's exactly right," Titanic Thompson said, "he's twice as smart---why, Fatty is double smart."

So from then on, everywhere I went on Broadway, the guys and dolls would say, "Here comes Double Smart Fats." And that was my first nom-de-plummer.

I won so much gelt off Smart Henny, it looked like I was smuggling coconuts in my pockets...so what I did a couple of days later was buy my first car---a Stutz Bearcat that was fabulous beyond compare.


Now you know the rest of the story.

Dennis

 

[SJDinPHX]

...Coney Island Al was an old-timer who was hard-of-hearing in one ear, although if he really wanted to hear what was being said, Coney Island Al wouldn't be hard-of-hearing at all...now Smart Henny comes around Kreuter's with Coney Island Al, who was the funniest-looking little fellow you ever saw...Everybody got down on Coney Island Al real good because it looked like the odds I was giving were so fantastic that Coney Island Al couldn't lose. Nobody dreamed I was going to bank those balls from every angle known to man.

I'll tell you what it was like. It was like the day the banks tapped out. You never saw so many sad-faced creatures in a hundred years. I ruined Coney Island Al, and real quick everybody got off Coney Island, everybody except Smart Henny. Smart Henny kept betting higher and higher because he figured with the scratches-don't-count proposition there was no way I could win it. He thought that sooner or later I would make a slip and then Coney Island Al would whack me out and Smart Henny would end up with all the cash. But I kept winning and winning, until I thought I would have to call an armored car to get out of the joint. It was unbelievable.

To be continued...

Very strange indeed,.. but this sounds eerily familiar to the total fabrication RA claimed, on his audio tapes, re; his first trip to San Jose with Richie ! (do I need to repeat it ?)

PS..This only furthers my belief, that RA was, No doubt the illegitimate son of the Fat man !