In memory of a friend

Guest

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Jan 19, 2010
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Clare, I can't agree with that. Sending money in these circumstances is not the same as sending flowers or a casserole. It carries at least the implication that the guy must have died destitute, or close to it, and I feel certain that many proud people would take offense, and rightly so. It is certainly not rude if they decline such offers. At least wait until they ask.
Vapros, we will just have to agree to disagree. Money is a kind gesture just like any other kind gesture. It does not implicate that the guy was destitute or close to it. Does giving a casserole mean that the receivers are starving? I have had two immediate family members pass away and money, as well as other offerings, were given. Neither decedent was destitute, in fact far from it. The money was accepted as graciously as the other gifts. In one case, the money was used to purchase new books for a local library and in the other case, a scholarship was initiated. Recently, my good friend's father retired. I understand that a retirement is not the same as a death. Her father was an established doctor. Some of his patients gave him money when he retired. One patient gave him a card with $20 in it. He was not insulted or offended. He graciously accepted it and thanked them.

Below is a quote that Grady made on Facebook on Feb.8. Evidently, Grady was not insulted by monetary offerings. I have copied and pasted:

I had a list on my computer desk of all the people who generously sent me flowers, money, letters and cards. I spilled coffee on it and couldn’t read any of them. A belated thanks to everyone of them, as I did struggle some in my fight against cancer and needed every bit of that assistance.
I live on $300 a week my business pays me and my SS check of $321.I’ve learned to live economically because of having been a single father for many years. I love you all and again, doctor gives me 2 to 5 years with a possibility of more.I look forward to going to the Memphis event in June.I have pictures coming from the DCC and the HOF.
 

fred bentivegna

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Feb 2, 2005
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6,690
Interesting tid-bit

Interesting tid-bit

At the Seminar Danny D, Brumback and I gave at DCC we put Grady in for an end because we knew he needed money and he physically couldnt perform. His end was around $400 and he was very grateful for it. A lot of people know about that. What a lot of people probably dont know is that Grady, never one to be afraid to take a shot with small money, went to the crap tables with the $400 and took down about $14,000!

Bearde
 

vapros

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May 24, 2004
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3,376
That's fine. Nothing wrong with disagreeing. A couple of things come to my mind: I don't understand giving money to people who don't need it, and I was not aware that being a single father was the reason for Grady's need.

Be well.
 

Alfie Taylor

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Jan 21, 2010
Messages
189
Clare, I can't agree with that. Sending money in these circumstances is not the same as sending flowers or a casserole. It carries at least the implication that the guy must have died destitute, or close to it, and I feel certain that many proud people would take offense, and rightly so. It is certainly not rude if they decline such offers. At least wait until they ask.

OK Vapros. So, maybe I blew it a little. Can we let it go?

But, I don't know anyone who has gone through the expense of cancer treatments and has money to spare.
Even if my offer was rejected, I refuse to let it be called an insult to anyone's dignity...and I'm glad I took a shot. Here's an idea............
Keep it nice. Alfie
 

Guest

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Jan 19, 2010
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947
I'll end this with an old Jewish saying that a dear friend of mine recently reminded me of: "Never piss on the mitzvah".


Clare
 
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