If the U.S. Presidents Had Been One Pocket Players

BackPocket9Ball

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May 25, 2004
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233
In honor of our politically charged environment. Tried not to show any bias (but I probably did).

Richard Nixon - Better keep track of the score and make sure you don't forget to take your balls from the ball return after your turn's over.

Jimmy Carter - Kicks the balls up-table to play the wedge game, even when he's down in the score and has a straight in 2-foot shot. Dutifully notifies his opponent if he sees him accidentally shooting to the wrong hole.

Ronald Reagan - Solid player, who likes to bet big. But sometimes forgets the score and/or shoots to the wrong hole, especially in his second term.

George HW Bush - I'll be kind since he recently passed. Probably the best-suited to one pocket of all recent presidents. Always tries to shoot the right shot and play the score. Aggressive when he needs to be, and cautious when he needs to be. Very cerebral approach.

Bill Clinton - Also a very cerebral approach, but a lot like the late Grady Mathews (God rest his soul): as sophisticated and as strong as his game is, at times he over-rates his game and gives out wildly inappropriate spots just to prove he can. Also at times will inexplicably shoot a fancy shot just to show off, when a simple bunt would've been most appropriate.

George W. Bush - Solid 9-ball player and very straight shooter who thinks (mistakenly) that he can play one pocket. Always shoots to his hole. Never plays the score. The only games he wins are when he runs 8-and-out. Makes his backers pretty nervous.

Barack Obama - Like Billy Incardona. A smooth talker who can have you screwing your cue together thinking you have the nuts, when in fact, he does. Doesn't take unnecessary chances. Extraordinary patience to wait for the right game. Plays for the dough, not for the show.

Donald Trump - Doesn't really know the rules. Doesn't really care.
Like a very young Corey Deuel, breaks the balls like it's 8-ball. His opponents are so stunned by his shot selection, they can wind up inexplicably dogging it on their turn. Talks a lot of shit, not in a strategic way like Ronnie Allen, but more in a haphazard kamikaze way, like Jimmy Mataya. His savvier opponents will know that he'll always ask to double the bet to get even if he's down.
 

keoneyo

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Mar 31, 2014
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2,883
Yep fun read. Now hows about his corner guy.
Pence would say nothing but holding all the cash and praying to the Lord at every inning his guy is shooting.
 
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